[ Did he give a reason? Ren's so effed in the head that he can't remember if he has. Can't remember how he got on Ryuji's shoulder but the way he just doesn't do anything makes the burning spread, warmth engulfing the rest of his eyes as they blur harder. Yeah, that's what he thought.

He's never been able to lie to Ryuji, either. Not by any promise he made, but it was an unspoken sort of thing when a guy's worldview spun on complete honesty, the corollary that if this is gonna be your guy you have to be on the level. No one's tried to keep up with Ren or slowed down and stuck out his hand, make sure everything was okay with him than Ryuji, so why's this feel so much worse to commit to the air? Because it's under duress? Isn't it still true?

He was only thinking of any of this because of Yusuke and Haru. ]

Saying the wrong thing. Doing the wrong thing.

Haru slapped me a day... two days..? Ago. I dunno. Her fuse just blew and she said she was sorry and she didn't mean it but you know how awful you feel when something happens and it wasn't really under your control.

Hurting her friends isn't like her. But -

[ Ren spends too long picking at the skin around his nails. Waiting for a stay of execution. When it doesn't come he nods, pulls away to carry his own damn weight as Ren hugs his knees like he hasn't since he was in middle school and summarily buries his face into them. ]

I was more afraid of doing something I wanted to. And you're a pretty good bro but you're not that good, y'know.