[ Ren was done nearly hyperventilating by this point. He's sorry, he's so sorry to be pushing Ryuji off a cliff he didn't know he was on but now that he was in the air it isn't like Ren isn't going to dive down right after him and do what he can to help him find his wings.
How long? Ryuji's stiffness underneath Ren's head is fresh in his memory and it clicks more with the heading "Stunned" over "Rejection", at least. It isn't like you can tell when the house is going drop or that you have any kind of control over it when you're just spinning inside the tornado, man. Maybe forever?
Ren takes a few deep breaths, now barely registering the music as anything but a dull drone past the blood rushing in his head, the hush that's come over his normally animated friend. He lifts his head, scrapes the heels of his hands over each eye and recovers pretty quickly to the way the light flares and takes a bit too long to resolve.
Ren's a soft spoken guy. He doesn't think he'll talk so much until it's gushing out of him, cuz Ryuji turned on the goddamn tap. ]
A long time, I think. When we got finished putting Yamauchi out of commission - it felt so good to get a win, like it was this big culmination of work we bent our heads together to get done and we did it, hell yeah. We sat around and got to talking about belonging, and I didn't have the heart to dispel this image you had of me, cuz we were celebrating, right?
You made me sound all cool and collected when I was just doing what I could to scrape by and hold my shit together every day at school. I put on a good show; it's what I do, Ryuji. And here you were acting like I was this perfect guy, and yeah I grew into someone that could pull all these people together toward me. We created a home for strays. And it was a good home. Still is.
It's not like I expected to fall for anyone. [ His memories. It's like... a thousand images pulling in, reconciling in his mind into this one possible picture and Ren wants that.. ] You just told me I belonged right next to you and I thought yeah, that sounds nice.
I dunno. You talk me up a lot, but I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Before you even knew me you helped me, you were the only person that helped me for months and months before that right up until we met Morgana. I wouldn't be anyone.
I'm not even talking about accidentally walking into Kamoshida's Palace, or all the times you put yourself between me and a huge ass Shadow that was gunning for me. It's everything else, man. Everybody'd written me off. My own parents did and you didn't, and it's like I realized that all at once before we went to go get ramen and laughed about how freakin' ugly Yamauchi was.
[ Ren smiles finally. Does Ryuji remember these times like he does? It's totally possible Ren's on his own in the middle of the stage wearing nothing, getting laughed at by thousands and thousands of incredulous Ryujis but he doesn't believe so and it shows in the warmth Ryuji could see there if he looked hard enough. How happy being near him makes Ren and the tenderness with which he cradles their friendship close like a flame that's keeping him going.
He looks at Ryuji, eyes heavy with sleeplessness, receding tears, and utter adoration. ]
no subject
How long? Ryuji's stiffness underneath Ren's head is fresh in his memory and it clicks more with the heading "Stunned" over "Rejection", at least. It isn't like you can tell when the house is going drop or that you have any kind of control over it when you're just spinning inside the tornado, man. Maybe forever?
Ren takes a few deep breaths, now barely registering the music as anything but a dull drone past the blood rushing in his head, the hush that's come over his normally animated friend. He lifts his head, scrapes the heels of his hands over each eye and recovers pretty quickly to the way the light flares and takes a bit too long to resolve.
Ren's a soft spoken guy. He doesn't think he'll talk so much until it's gushing out of him, cuz Ryuji turned on the goddamn tap. ]
A long time, I think. When we got finished putting Yamauchi out of commission - it felt so good to get a win, like it was this big culmination of work we bent our heads together to get done and we did it, hell yeah. We sat around and got to talking about belonging, and I didn't have the heart to dispel this image you had of me, cuz we were celebrating, right?
You made me sound all cool and collected when I was just doing what I could to scrape by and hold my shit together every day at school. I put on a good show; it's what I do, Ryuji. And here you were acting like I was this perfect guy, and yeah I grew into someone that could pull all these people together toward me. We created a home for strays. And it was a good home. Still is.
It's not like I expected to fall for anyone. [ His memories. It's like... a thousand images pulling in, reconciling in his mind into this one possible picture and Ren wants that.. ] You just told me I belonged right next to you and I thought yeah, that sounds nice.
I dunno. You talk me up a lot, but I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Before you even knew me you helped me, you were the only person that helped me for months and months before that right up until we met Morgana. I wouldn't be anyone.
I'm not even talking about accidentally walking into Kamoshida's Palace, or all the times you put yourself between me and a huge ass Shadow that was gunning for me. It's everything else, man. Everybody'd written me off. My own parents did and you didn't, and it's like I realized that all at once before we went to go get ramen and laughed about how freakin' ugly Yamauchi was.
[ Ren smiles finally. Does Ryuji remember these times like he does? It's totally possible Ren's on his own in the middle of the stage wearing nothing, getting laughed at by thousands and thousands of incredulous Ryujis but he doesn't believe so and it shows in the warmth Ryuji could see there if he looked hard enough. How happy being near him makes Ren and the tenderness with which he cradles their friendship close like a flame that's keeping him going.
He looks at Ryuji, eyes heavy with sleeplessness, receding tears, and utter adoration. ]
You saved me.