[He reached for the bottle again. He'd lost count of what number this was. Five? Six? Seven? Whatever, he'd sleep it off later.]
Pilotin' the Roci's the first time I ever felt like I was in the right place. Like everything just - god damn clicked. I spent twenty years in the Navy tryin' to feel like I was meant to be there, but every time I was up here I wanted to be home and every time I was home...
[He poured out the shot, shaking his head.]
Then I finished my twenty, ended up full time back under a dome. Wife, kid, shoulda been the perfect life. Only it wasn't. Couldn't stand not being up here. Spent every damn night dreamin' about it. Even when I was there I wasn't there.
[He raised his glass and took a drink - not the whole thing this time, at least.]
... So I left. Went to go fly in the belt.
Don't know how else you'd spin that, Gunny. I was never the man they needed me to be. But hell, I didn't even know what the hell kind of man I was.
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[He reached for the bottle again. He'd lost count of what number this was. Five? Six? Seven? Whatever, he'd sleep it off later.]
Pilotin' the Roci's the first time I ever felt like I was in the right place. Like everything just - god damn clicked. I spent twenty years in the Navy tryin' to feel like I was meant to be there, but every time I was up here I wanted to be home and every time I was home...
[He poured out the shot, shaking his head.]
Then I finished my twenty, ended up full time back under a dome. Wife, kid, shoulda been the perfect life. Only it wasn't. Couldn't stand not being up here. Spent every damn night dreamin' about it. Even when I was there I wasn't there.
[He raised his glass and took a drink - not the whole thing this time, at least.]
... So I left. Went to go fly in the belt.
Don't know how else you'd spin that, Gunny. I was never the man they needed me to be. But hell, I didn't even know what the hell kind of man I was.
But I do now.