He'd thought about it, before. Somehow getting Talissa and Melas off Mars - getting them into the sky with him. Talissa would hate it about as much as he hated being on Mars, and Melas... Space was no place for a kid. He couldn't do that to him. Couldn't curse him to brittle bones and never living in a gravity well. But if they could have been away from Mars, away from Talissa's family, away from the rigid box that Alex was supposed to fit in -- Maybe it would have worked.

Maybe it wouldn't feel like he was being pulled in two opposite directions all the time and being torn right down the middle.

It isn't easy, getting him to raise his eyes. The self-hatred has been drowned in alcohol and is making him stubborn and surly. But he can't quite ignore her direct request, so he turns his head a fraction and meets her eyes and hopes he doesn't see disgust in them.