Alex took a sharp breath in through his nose, holding it before letting it out again. He could still feel where Amos patted his cheek, and part of him half expected the muscle to slough off in Amos's wake. But it didn't. Breathe.

"My- Talissa. Melas." His voice was shaking slightly. "He kept asking me why I - why I left them, Amos, why I failed them, why I failed Mars--" And it hurts, because he can't quite believe that they were wrong. "I - I collapsed on the floor-- water just comin' off me and - the stain is still there, Amos--"