make a wish and i'll count to three [ota]

[resleeves]

» WHO? kovacs + you
» WHEN? mid june
» WHERE? various
» WHAT? backpack discovery, drinking, nostalgia, introspection
» WARNINGS? language, for sure. anything else, i'll update.

001. mess hall

[ hello unicorn.

it's the first thing that kovacs sees when he walks into the mess hall to get something to drink. hello unicorn emblazoned on a pink, dirty backpack. for a second, kovacs is taken right back to bay city, right back to that shitty dealer and his need to buy the whole fucking stash of drugs.

he can feel the harsh lights of the various establishments and smell the stench of booze and blood and death. for a second, kovacs just stares at the backpack, thinking it some kind of trick. when he realizes what the fuck he's doing, he steps closer and grabs the backpack.

it's light which means it's empty but it's still his and he doesn't waste any goddamn time in hefting it on one shoulder and then sitting down to eat.

hello unicorn. ]

002. bar

[ he's still wearing the backpack. in fact, he hasn't really taken it off since it showed up and he doesn't plan on it either. it doesn't matter that the fucker's empty, it matters that it's hit, it's from bay city and that's enough for a signal for him to tell him that he'll get back there one day.

but, today is not that day so today, he's drinking. while he drinks, he settles the backpack on the bar and goes through it again. there's still nothing but he wants to make sure he hasn't missed anything.

and then he decides to slide a bottle inside of the backpack and zip it up.

now, it's not empty. ]

003. observation area

[ that stupid fucking backpack's made him think of quell. he doesn't know why since she'd never seen it before, not even when she decided to pop up and fuck him up even more. but, he's desperate enough that he doesn't even mind when she appears to him and only him.

he misses her. that's the bottom line. he misses quell but it's a fucking stupid thing to be experiencing because she's dead and she's not coming back. not this time. her stack's probably in little pieces over harlan's world.

why hadn't he stopped to try and find it?

waste of time. ]

Fuck you.

[ and then he punches the observation window, doing absolutely no damage to the thick glass but cracking his knuckles a bit.

good. ]

Comments

[resleeves]

What's beretna mean?

[ you can blame alex for that one. ]

I'm gonna make it your new name.

[ no escaping it, miller. ]

[pampa]

[ UGH WHO TOLD HIM THAT. miller makes a face and snatches the liquor back forcefully. ]

It's beratna. And don't call me that. [ almost a growl as he takes a long swig ]

[resleeves]

Why not?

[ he was just barely holding back laughter. just barely. he let the bottle go, a smirk on his face. ]

What's it mean?

[ pause for effect...]

Beratna.

[pampa]

[ UGHHHHHHHH it's even worse when kovacs says it right tbh. he mulls it over a minute, shivering as he gulps down too much liquor at once. kovacs is probably going to harass him with this now whether he tells him or not, so he figures- what's the harm? but he can't help thinking of havelock then. what's welwala? ]

It means brother. [ through grit teeth, naturally ]

[resleeves]

Brother, huh?

[ you were right, miller, kovacs was absolutely going to harass you with that now especially since he'd seen the reaction it got out of miller.

that, naturally, just made him want to use it more. ]

How'd that name get attached to you?

[pampa]

It didn't. Someone thinks they're being cute. [ and he thinks he knows EXACTLY who to blame. ]

[resleeves]

[ it's a little difficult not to smile. okay, it's a lot difficult. ]

So, you saying this person doesn't think of you like that? You and this person don't have that sort of connection and bond?

[ kovacs is pretty sure miller already knows who he's talking about but he's trying to do his part and protect alex's identity for at least a little while longer. ]

[pampa]

He's a Martian, he's not my brother. [ unless it was amos... but he's banking on alex for this one. ] And neither are you, for the record.

[resleeves]

I'm not?

[ kovacs mock gasps and puts a hand to his heart. his broken, beaten, terribly bruised heart now that this terrible news has been broken to him. ]

What am I then, if not your beratna?

[pampa]

No. [ another pointed look!!!! he doesn't actually have a good comeback for kovac's question and he's sALTY ABOUT IT!!! they have been spending a lot of time together... ] A pain in my ass, that's what.

[resleeves]

[ better than some of the things he'd been called in his life! pain in the ass meant he'd actually made an impression. ]

Took you awhile to come up with an answer there.

[ yes, he'd noticed, miller. he'd noticed. ]

You a little confused?

[pampa]

[ he touches a hand to his temple ] It must be old age, you know how it is.

[resleeves]

Ah, I see the significance of the hat now.

[ he really did kind of like you miller. this was how he showed it. ]

So, when all that hair starts to fall out as you age, you can cover up the patchy spots.

[pampa]

[ he grunts. close but no cigar kovacs. he gestures with the bottle idly. ]

It was my dumb best friend's hat, asshole. He's dead, too.

[resleeves]

[ ah, a sentimental item. something that had meaning and emotion attached to it. kovacs wonders what that feels like, having something that meaningful. ]

Didn't take you for that sentimental of a person. There a heart under all that shit?

[ he motions to miller's entire being with a finger and then tries to grab the bottle away from him. ]

[pampa]

Don't get carried away, Inner.

[resleeves]

The fuck's an inner?

[ had he just been called some weird part of the body that he didn't know about? a part that got sweaty and smelly? ]

[pampa]

[ HE'S SO TIRED. have a bottle shoved back at you just as forcefully as he'd taken it. ]

Inner planets. In my system it's for Earthers and Dusters, but whatever the fuck you are you sure as fuck ain't no goddamn Belter. That makes you an Inner.

[resleeves]

Ah, so it's bad.

[ doesn't bother him all that much. besides, it got him the bottle back, something he'll gladly take and drink. ]

All those poor Inners, having to suffer being a bad word in the mouth of Miller, the shitty drunk. You guys need some better slurs.

[pampa]

It's not bad, it's what you are. [ which okay is bad but for entirely different reasons. he's not racist!!! ...much (he's totally racist.) ]

That's not the slur, koyo. The slur is paxoníseki. You don't wanna be called that.

[resleeves]

I'm sure I've been called worse.

[ there was no question about it. even when he'd been on ice, people were probably cursing his name. ]

What's it mean so I can decide if I wanna be called that or not?

[pampa]

Now that - that I wouldn't doubt.

[ he smiles briefly, realizing... is he having fun?! ]

It means Inner scumbag, you know. It's like the N-word, but for... you.

[resleeves]

All for me? Miller, I'm touched. And here I was beginning to think you didn't like me.

[ he knows you do, miller, don't even fucking try to deny it. or don't try too hard because kovacs is going to see through it. ]

We don't have any fancy slurs like that. Just the same old shit that's been around for awhile. I could call you sister fucker, though. Might make us even.

[pampa]

[ there's a pregnant pause and then miller just... shrugs. ] I don't have a sister.

[resleeves]

I do.

[ have that little bit of personal revelation, miller. ]