reverielogs | spoilers: this is gonna end terribly

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spoilers: this is gonna end terribly

» WHO? Raleigh and Yancy (sort of) and OTA for main log, closed starters in comments
» WHEN? 9am on the 20th - 9am on the 21st (this lasts EXACTLY 24 hours only though you can tag in whenever)
» WHERE? deck 2 corridors, mess hall, gym, Raleigh's quarters
» WHAT? Raleigh got an action. For a limited time only, a big brother!!! But there are a few catches...
» WARNINGS? massive pacrim spoilers, potential for violence/injury, discussions of death via giant alien monster and severe ptsd, will update if more arises!

[ As much as he doesn't really want to admit it, Raleigh is settling into a bit of a routine. The room he shares with Mako is even starting to feel... like theirs. It's strange, considering Raleigh has lived in many places without ever settling at all, has rented apartments that might as well have just been hotel rooms for all he nested. But the station feels sort of. Not homey but maybe like Shatterdomes used to. They've got pictures on the walls and a sense of camaraderie with their fellow captives. Though he didn't expect it to be the case, Raleigh actually likes most people he's met here.

Mako headed off to poke at the command deck early that morning and Raleigh hit the gym as usual, planning to meet her for a late breakfast after. That's where he's going now, freshly showered and running his fingers through his damp hair as he gets off the elevator on the mess hall deck. It's starting to feel a little longer than he likes to keep it, but it's not like the station has a barber. He ponders maybe asking Mako to try and trim it for him, but is thrown from his thoughts as he turns a corner and spots a jumpsuited figure lying on the metal floor, unmoving, a communicator droning the usual arrival message beside them. Somebody new is about to wake up. Raleigh breaks into a little jog, boots clanging, thinking that maybe he can be helpful. Help ease the stranger into this bullshit. That extra sound is enough to cause the man -- yeah, it's a guy -- to stir, groaning and sitting up. His back is to Raleigh, who notes idly that they have the same color hair. Go figure. ]

Easy, buddy. Take it slow, you'll be okay. Everybody wakes up with one hell of a--

[ He makes it to the end of the hall, slowing to a stop as the newcomer turns to look up at him and abruptly freezing mid-sentence because.

No.

This is impossible.

It's completely fucking impossible so clearly it's just the station fucking with him again, like people's visions and the voices in the walls. But Raleigh can't tear his eyes away, just stares in shock at his big brother, sitting there looking as solid and real as anything he's ever seen. Looking alive, somehow. ]

...Yancy?

Raleigh. [ The ghost's mouth quirks, and Yancy carefully picks himself up off the floor and glances around, moving stiffly but not like he's favoring any injuries. If he were a hallucination, wouldn't he be ripped to shreds? Not in a station jumpsuit looking like maybe he just had a few too many last night and is pissed Raleigh woke him up to enjoy the hangover. But he can't be real. He's dead, he's-- ] What kind of afterlife is this supposed to be?

[ Raleigh's mouth opens but nothing comes out so he just shuts it again, at a complete loss. It has to be a trick, but he finds himself playing along. ]

You remember?

Knifehead, yeah. Got us good, huh?

[ Slowly, he shakes his head. ] No, just... just you. Yancy, how--?

[ Something dark flickers through Yancy's eyes at that news, as it settles. Conflicts. And oddly, seems to resolve. He doesn't ask how he's here now, standing tall and holding a conversation, or where they are, or how Raleigh survived. He just lifts an arm, the same one Raleigh remembers him reaching out as he was torn away. Raleigh, listen to me, you-- and then the terror, the pain, and that terrible void. ] C'mere, kid.

[ Really, he should object. He's older now than Yancy was when he died, technically he's the big brother. Does it work that way? Who the fuck knows but he'd claim the technicality if he were processing this well enough to be casual about it. Instead all he can process is that Yancy is reaching for him and Raleigh just goes, nearly falling forward into his brother's arms and holding on tight. And it sure as fuck feels real. It must be. Somehow, Yancy is here. Tears prick Raleigh's eyes and he squeezes them shut. There's a lot of ground to cover, a lot of questions neither of them are going to be able to answer but some he can. They'll get there, though. Right now... ]

There's somebody you've gotta meet.

[ Anyone is welcome to have witnessed the tail end of this encounter, to hear Raleigh speaking brokenly to the silence of the corridor. No one else can see or hear Yancy, as they're about to find out. The brothers break apart and Yancy does ask something, then, but the simplest of the possible questions. Where are they? Raleigh huffs, then starts walking again, back down the hall towards the mess. The conversation is one sided to anyone around, Raleigh explaining things about the station like he's being prompted but there's nobody there. Who's he smiling at, looking so hesitantly joyful? Has he just snapped? You know what, just go over and ask him. ]

--

(( OOC: Okay so to keep things consistent regarding other characters' perceptions, I likely won't actually be RPing Yancy/describing exactly what Raleigh is seeing and hearing outside of what he tells people he is! You can wildcard catching a different one-sided convo (they're going to start arguing soon enough) or hit me up at

cuddlebug to plot a closed starter, I may add something like a semi-OTA gym scene where they're sparring and Raleigh is inexplicably taking damage. ))

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Okay.

[She closes her eyes for a second, trying to gather her thoughts and nail down what she wants to say. Her heart is beating a mile a minute, and she doesn't want to screw this up. But maybe that's ridiculous. This is Raleigh. Whatever else they are, he still feels like her other half.]

...Did you mean it?

[ Raleigh really doesn't want to be having this conversation, or at least wants it done. Rip off the band-aid, Mako, please, so he can go find an airlock to jump out of. He supposes this part is important, but ugh. ]

Yeah. I did, but you don't have to spare my feelings or anything, it's okay. And I don't want you to think that any of this has been some kind of play, I never... we're not...

[ Please someone save him from this hell. ]

No, no, that's not... I never thought...

[Mako pulls back just enough to look up at him, her arms still wrapped around his middle. This is going south, and she needs to just say it, even if it doesn't come out perfectly. She takes in a deep breath, her grip on him tightening.]

I love you, too. I didn't think you felt the same.

[ Raleigh is drawn tense as he waits for it, as Mako fumbles to find the right words, but he doesn't expect what she comes up with. Not one bit. And when she holds on tight and spits that out... he just gapes at her for a moment, blinking in shock. ]

Wait, you-- seriously?

[ Fuck, they have been complete idiots. Well, at least it's definitely something that's developed more here, even if quickly. He couldn't have said as much back when they first showed up, so Frank can't gloat that much. The full meaning of it sinks in slowly and he can feel his shoulders uncoil a little as he shifts his grip on her, one hand drifting up to touch her cheek. His smile is small and hesitant, but hopeful. ]

Now what?

[That was... surprisingly easier than she expected, and when he smiles, she can't help but grin back. She's so relieved that it's overwhelming. Mako leans into his touch, savoring the idea that she can even do that without worrying if she's overstepping. His question catches her off guard, though, and she laughs softly.]

I don't know. I didn't think this would happen.

Me neither, Mako. Shit.

[ Well he knows what he wants to do, and it's occurring to him now that they were probably so clueless exactly because they were on the same page all this time. Mistaking each other's emotions as their own and thinking it was all one-sided. So doing what he wants is probably a safe bet. Hopefully?

He goes about it slowly just in case she gets shy on him. Dips his head just a little first, to press their foreheads together. Then leans in so their noses brush, and finally gently tilts her face up towards his. The kiss is soft and careful and chaste, Raleigh actively holding back about a month's worth of pent up lust because he doesn't want to ruin the moment. He's a goddamn gentleman, okay? ]

[She doesn't get shy on him. Not exactly, anyway, even if her breathing catches and her heart rate ratchets up when he leans in. Mako doesn't pull back, though, just curls her fingers into the fabric of his shirt, savoring the closeness. She likes that he takes his time—it feels sweeter, somehow, a bit more earned, and by the time he kisses her all the tension and nervousness has drained out of her. It isn't like she's particularly experienced with any of this. A lifetime focusing on becoming a pilot and nothing else doesn't leave much time for romance, and she can count the number of people she's kissed on one hand, but with Raleigh, it feels natural and easy. It feels right. For once, she doesn't even think when she parts her lips against his, deepening the kiss.]

[ Sweet is what he was aiming for -- he doesn't want to get ahead of anything, she's too important to him to mess this up. Since despite the fear, the certainty he at least had felt that it would be a mistake to make a move, neither of them are hitting the breaks now. On the contrary, her response is very encouraging.

Well before his self-imposed isolation, Raleigh had feared getting in too deep, because of the eventual let down when things don't work with someone. Better to keep partners at arm's reach to start with. But he's never felt that way with Mako. Like he needed to protect himself from anything about her, even when she was being critical. So if they're doing this, if he's admitting how he actually feels, he might as well be all-in. He tilts his head a little and opens his mouth just slightly too, tongue slipping out to tease at her bottom lip. It's still not quite heated but it's eager, and his hand moves back to comb through her hair and cradle her head. ]

[It's perfect. She's so happy that it's overwhelming, and suddenly nothing else seems to matter. It's so easy to lose herself in the simple joy of being with him, of knowing that she doesn't have to hold anything back, and his obvious eagerness just cements that. She surprises herself with the quiet, happy noise that slips out, by the way her grip on his shirt tightens, but for the first time in a long time, she doesn't feel self-conscious about any of it.]

[ They're probably sort of falling into a feedback loop of happiness, but it's close enough again that Raleigh can't really tell. He just hums softly in response to that tiny happy sound, chest rumbling against her as they keep kissing. He forgets, at least for now, that they're on a weird future space station in probably another universe entirely, that things are rough with his seemingly invisible dead brother... all that matters in this moment is Mako. When he does finally pull back he's a little breathless, and there's a playful sort of warning tone in his voice. ]

Careful. I could get used to this.

[Mako can't help but laugh. She feels almost giddy, and she stands up on her tiptoes to bump her nose against his.]

Isn't that a good thing?

Hmm... guess it is, yeah. If you don't mind it.

[ Honestly, he'd just keep kissing her for awhile if he 1) wasn't worried about Yancy coming back 2) was more confident about his self control right now. As it is they could be interrupted at any moment and he's worried about moving too fast while they're high on this dizzying rush of emotion. Instead he forces himself to just breathe, to nuzzle his nose against Mako's and run his fingers through her hair. He's never really done that before. It's cool and thick and sleek and he wonders how much longer the blue is going to last.

Then it seems to click that they're still just standing in the bathroom, which is an odd place to be cuddling. They have a more comfortable option, anyway. And even with the blanket still around her shoulders she's got her boots off, her feet must be cold. ]

Come on. Let's go lie down.

Okay.

[It's hard to pull away, but she manages it, though she immediately reaches for his hand. Now that this wall has been broken down, it's hard to have any sort of distance. She sits, offering him half of the blanket as she does.]

[ She can have his hand -- she can always have his hand. And when she offers the blanket he takes a moment to get rid of his boots and settles down beside her, wrapping it around himself as well and cuddling close. He finds himself wondering again, "what now?" but doesn't say it this time, just bumps his head back against hers and soaks in her warmth. ]

Hey Mako?

[Mako is perfectly content to snuggle close, tucking her cold feet underneath her and lacing their fingers together. She's not really sure what comes next, either. She's so happy to have gotten this far that she hasn't even considered it.]

Yes?

[ Raleigh draws their hands up to his face, kissing the back of hers. ]

I love you.

[ Because he didn't actually say it to her, not like that. He wasn't looking her in the eyes, didn't even know she was listening... it's different. His tone is different, when he's not just spitting it out like a dirty secret he was keeping out of fear. And that fear is gone now, though he's sure it'll probably kick him in the chest again at some point once the buzz wears off. ]

I feel like I should give you a heads up that I've never really gotten to this part before. You're gonna have to help me figure it out.

[Her heart flutters all over again, and she realizes she can't stop smiling. She's so happy it aches, and she's sure she looks a little ridiculous.]

I love you, too.

[It feels so easy to say now, but she feels a sudden rush of fondness anyway.]

...I've never gotten this far, either. I haven't even gotten close.

[ How far has she gotten? Raleigh finds himself wondering now... his own questionable history has come up, but he never asked Mako about her experience. He assumes she's never actually dated, being so focused on her training and goals. But that doesn't mean she hasn't... well. Maybe it's better if he doesn't think about that right now, even if they should probably have that conversation eventually. ]

Honestly? I think you're the only reason I'm able to in the first place. So it kinda fits.

[ He thought he'd been in love once, as a kid, and losing that had been pretty rough on him, had set the tone for how he addressed relationships the rest of his life. But that was puppy love, if it was even really anything at all. A spray bottle spritz compared to the fire hose blast that this was. ]

I am?

[It's clear that that's caught her off guard, and she's not entirely sure how to respond to it.]

Why do you say that?

[ Raleigh hesitates -- she's not going to want to hear this. The truth of just how bad off he was. She's been in his head, yeah, but that first drift already changed a lot for him. In the end he decides she deserves to know. ]

I didn't plan on coming back from Pitfall, Mako. When I told Pentecost I'd go with him, go back to the program, I thought... maybe I could finally be done. Let this be the end of the line, save the world and get to rest. I'd hardly even spoken to anybody the past five years. I wasn't really living, just going through the motions. I didn't even want to try to get better anymore, it felt impossible.

Then I met you. Then I drifted with you, and... something changed.

[Mako lets out a shaky breath at that. She can't imagine the world without Raleigh, even in a scenario where they weren't partners. It's unthinkable—almost as unthinkable as the idea that she was such a big part of changing his mind. She leans forward, resting her forehead against his.]

...You don't feel that way now, do you?

No. Now I'm actually thinking about the future.

[ He still expected to die in Pitfall, but he'd wanted to come out of it at least. He never did have very good timing. ]

I don't know what it's going to be, at this point? Being stuck here, or where we'll go after. But I want to be around to find out. Especially if it's with you.

[ Maybe that's too much pressure to put on her, but it's the truth. ]

I want you to be there, too.

[It doesn't feel like too much pressure—it feels natural and obvious. She can't even picture a future without him in it anymore.]

It's... difficult for me to trust people, but you made it feel easy.

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spoilers: this is gonna end terribly

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