reverielogs | open » you don't need them to believe in you

» WHO? rogue + ota
» WHEN? last week of june
» WHERE? fitness area, chapel, hallways, others
» WHAT? testing her new inhibitor bracelet, cleaning the chapel
» WARNINGS? scars and talk of how she got them through imprisonment and torture during a genocidal war, talk of character death

hands up if you're ready for a fight // i don't need you to believe in me ( o p e n » mess hall )

[ The gloves on her bed had been a surprise, the thin fabric the same color as her faded green jumpsuit, but she hadn't hesitated to snatch them up and slip them on, the familiar feeling of fabric encasing her skin more of a comfort than anything else has been on the station. She hasn't had gloves for almost two months and she's missed them, the terror of accidentally touching and hurting someone ever present without those small safeguards. She's been careful, of course, but her life has always been plagued with those horrible accidents.

But things will be different now. Her vision has been returning since that other 'accident' that had led to her death and subsequent resurrection, only a peripheral blur still giving her trouble, and so she walks confidently to the mess hall, marching right up to one of the fabricators for her high caloric breakfast, and—

There's a bracelet hanging there, innocent-looking and completely still, not having been set there recently but seemingly ignored by anyone else who must have been by recently. Picking it up with a hesitant motion, there's a spark of hope deep inside Rogue as she examines the innocuous object. A small silver surface, a typical cuff bracelet style, small circles of inlaid metal along the inside of the bracelet. And through the center, only noticeable when looking closely, a thin line along the band.

It couldn't be, but it was. An inhibitor bracelet perfectly matching the design Hank had been working on for her before the war. He'd never finished it, they'd barely been able to test it, but she'd thought of it so often over the years that there's no mistaking it.

Within moments she's sitting at one of the tables, tray of food left forgotten as she strips off her gloves and slips the bracelet onto her right wrist opposite her communicator. The thin line through the bracelet begins to subtly glow, just a hint of light from within, and there's the slightest sense of something as the magnetic field begins to emanate from the band of metal. Her attention is now completely on her wrist, expression filled with tentative hope and an edge of fear, and she won't notice if anyone happens to walk by or even sit at her table. Feel free to comment on the barely palatable food growing colder by the second. ]

fight until we're winning // don't you wanna be a superhero ( o p e n » gym, hallways)

[ Working out in the jumpsuit has been difficult, her movement not quite as free as she'd once been accustomed to, and so she doesn't hesitate to put her shiny new bracelet to use. In the fitness area, she undoes the top portion of the suit, slipping out of it and tying the sleeves around her hips to keep them out of the way. Her ribs no longer show beneath the black sports bra, though it's clear that she's still too thin for living in space where it's so easy to lose muscle mass. What is also clear to see are the scars, long thick strips of dark pink tissue running the length of her back from shoulder to waist, the precision of each betraying that they were not created by accident. The small tattoo of M4827 on her inner left arm is a pretty good clue as to what happened for anyone who cares to notice.

She doesn't care who sees them, though. Her focus is on the weights she lifts until her arms and legs burn and on the tightening and movement of muscle as she moves through a 24-form taichi sequence, first slowly and then with incrementally increased speed throughout the week. Her stamina isn't anything like what it used to be though, so there are frequent breaks, and she's happy to speak with others during those times. She may even ask if anyone's interested in a light sparring match.

And at least twice a day, she abandons her mag boots in her room and goes for a barefoot run through all the decks, slow to fast and back to slow, occasional breaks for easy walking. Her breathing has gotten better over the weeks, she can last for longer periods of time, but she still has such a long way to go. Each session of dodging people in hallways her hair tied up in a ponytail and her torso bare of the jumpsuit helps get her one step closer to her goal. Anyone care to join her? ]

get your mission on lock and see it through // you've got all the power you need in you ( o p e n » chapel )

[ Rogue hasn't believed in God in a very long time. She can't quite remember if she ever really did, honestly — perhaps as a child in foster care, hoping for a better life that had taken far too long to come. Perhaps when she'd finally been adopted and she'd had a few years of being in a loving family. Any true belief she'd had a in a benevolent higher power had been destroyed when she'd been gifted with her mutation, an ability she'd never been able to control that could so easily hurt the ones she'd loved. And once the war had begun, there'd been no hope of that belief ever being rekindled. Watching the human race destroy itself in the quest for a genocidal cleansing of the planet will do that to a person.

But none of that means that she begrudges others their religious beliefs. If people here can find some solace in worship of whatever gods they believe in, then she'll do whatever she can to help that effort. Including cleaning up the chapel. She'd first wandered into it during one of her runs, and the sorry state of it had sparked in her a need to do something. She's not an engineer, she has no technical skills to help repair or maintain the station, and she has no strength to aid in the quest of uncovering more on Reverie, but this. This she can do. So for a few hours each day, she spends time in the chapel picking up any bits of garbage left behind, scrubbing at walls with a towel, and bit by tiny bit clearing up some of the grime covering the room. She doesn't disturb those who wander in looking for that solace, but she'll gladly engage in whatever conversation is initiated. ]

show the symbol on your chest // show the world who you really are ( w i l d c a r d » )

[ Looking for something else? Drop it n the comments below or hit me up at taintedcrimson or taintedcrimson#0896. Rogue's inhibitor bracelet only has a charge of 5 hours, but this is still being discovered, so... Accidents May Happen. If you haven't filled out Rogue's permissions, please do so! ]

( » ♪ )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( vanessa closes her eyes, trying to slow her breathing back down from the panic that had started to rise. she takes a few deep breaths before responding, her expression as she opens her eyes to look at rogue mixed with sadness )

I understand why you are reluctant to touch anyone.

( and vanessa feels for her, even more than she had done before. it may have been unpleasant to experience but for rogue-- )

Is there anything that would have caused the bracelet to not work?

( had she cancelled it out somehow? vanessa didn't know how but it was a worry )

[ It just about breaks her heart, the way the other woman looks at her. There's such sadness there that neither of them deserve, and yet it seems to fill so much of their lives. She can feel that in what she's gotten from Vanessa, sadness mingling with a dozen other emotions, thoughts, and memories, but she can't focus on those right now. ]

I think I just wasn't paying attention to how long I'd been wearing it. It doesn't stay charged for more than a few hours. [ She wants to reach out and embrace her friend (are they friends?) But she can't bring herself to do so yet. ]

Are you okay?

( vanessa nods, though it's a feeble reassurance. she hadn't been hurt by the experience, nothing that would be lasting, and as time passed that energy would start to return )

It seems cruel that you found such a gift only for it to have such a limit.

( she wouldn't know that cruelty if it had never existed but then rogue would also never have that pleasant opportunity. it was very conflicting )

What would be cruel would be to have it not work at all. I can learn the limitations and still be able to be safe around others. Safer, anyway.

[ In her mind, the blessing of being able to hold someone's hand was worth that limit of only being able to do so for so long. It would be worth it if it left an aching pain in her joints and took all the energy she had. Whatever the cost to herself, she would pay it for the chance to have something she's missed so desperately.

But Vanessa didn't make that allowance. She didn't sign up to play this game. ] I really am sorry, sugar. I'll pay more attention next time, I promise.

It was not your fault.

( it never would be. even if rogue had known the limits already and forgotten she could hardly be blamed, it was new and she had never asked for any of what had happened. she hadn't tried to hurt her )

But I am pleased that you have this, if it does make you happy.

[ Hurting Vanessa was the very last thing Rogue wanted to do. The other woman had been nothing but sweet and kind to her, had helped her when she'd been blind, and she didn't deserve to have Rogue's power used against her without consent. The fact that it really wasn't her fault doesn't make her feel any less guilty about it. ]

It makes it easier. [ Something in her demands that she clarify that, and then that she explain further. ] Sometimes I don't know if I remember what real happiness feels like.

[ Real happiness that doesn't drift away when the moment passes. Something that buoys you up even when the days are dark. ]

( vanessa gives her a sad smile, something almost knowing to it. she knows exactly what that pain is like. how long has it been since she felt real happiness? )

Then we will find ways of making it happen.

( there was a brief hesitation before vanessa reached out again, this time making certain to touch a clothed part of rogue's arm near her shoulder )

You have friends here. It's a start.

[ Friends. The fact that other people would consider her such... It's hard to comprehend. Vanessa isn't the first to say it, but it still seems like some effervescent and fleeting, like she'll wake up tomorrow and she'll be alone again. But in the here and now, she can't help but be grateful.

Reaching up, she covers Vanessa's hand with her own gloved one, wrapping her fingers gently around the other woman's and giving them the lightest squeeze. ]

Thank you, sugar. That means a lot.

( she lets her smile linger briefly, giving rogue a nod before stepping back. they still had a job to do and it wouldn't hurt getting to know her more, something that she could do as she cleaned )

Perhaps-- ( she lets her hand fall, moving to pick her cloth back up again ) --you could tell me something more of your home? Of what you did?

[ A change of topic is just what they need, and Vanessa's choice brings out a smile - a small one, but completely genuine. ] I'd be glad to.

[ While they work, she tells the other woman all sorts of things about her life before. About how she'd gotten to Xavier's School and become a teacher of French and self-defense. She shared stories of her students and all the times they'd broken the rules and used powers in the hallways, resulting in regular renovations to the mansion thanks to the various kinds of explosions. They're good stories, one full of fond smiles and more than a few laughs, and made better still by sharing them with a new friend. ]

open » you don't need them to believe in you

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