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bu773rfly) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
reverielogs2018-07-12 06:29 pm
bu773rfly) wrote in reverielogs2018-07-12 06:29 pm
Entry tags:
hack-and-stab gameplay
» WHO? Erika, 9S, and A2
» WHEN? July 12ish
» WHERE? the bar
» WHAT? a bad idea
» WARNINGS?robot violence? ROBOT VIOLENCE. also suicidal ideation. nobody is having fun
@hudie -> @nines
Can you help me test out a possible new system exploit?
I'm in the bar currently.
[And so she is.
Her invitation is not technically a lie. If A2's hacking ability outstrips 9S's, then that could, potentially, be a consideration for future projects. Not the clock issue - she'll still maintain that that's too damn much effort to go to just to not use the station clock. But other things. Higher aspirations.
She sits at the table closest to the VR room and conveniently furthest from the bar's hall door, screen up and Memetan out and typing away just as focused as ever. The rest is all A2's work - hiding, catching him, hacking him, whatever it is that she has to do. Maybe Erika will get to record it. Maybe it'll be as enlightening as she hopes it'll be.]
» WHEN? July 12ish
» WHERE? the bar
» WHAT? a bad idea
» WARNINGS?
@hudie -> @nines
Can you help me test out a possible new system exploit?
I'm in the bar currently.
[And so she is.
Her invitation is not technically a lie. If A2's hacking ability outstrips 9S's, then that could, potentially, be a consideration for future projects. Not the clock issue - she'll still maintain that that's too damn much effort to go to just to not use the station clock. But other things. Higher aspirations.
She sits at the table closest to the VR room and conveniently furthest from the bar's hall door, screen up and Memetan out and typing away just as focused as ever. The rest is all A2's work - hiding, catching him, hacking him, whatever it is that she has to do. Maybe Erika will get to record it. Maybe it'll be as enlightening as she hopes it'll be.]
no subject
[While he's worried about Erika, he's also preoccupied by his own anger. He needs to find out what A2's current location is.]
Did you see which way she went?
no subject
[Oof. Okay. This is going to be rough. The pull-back instinct is already reeling in hard. She has to spit it out fast, before she clams up.
Her eyes jump to Wanyamon and then hit the ground and stay there.]
This happened because I made a mistake.
no subject
What? No, it's not your fault. You were just caught in the crossfire.
no subject
[She rehearsed that in those fifteen minutes. It's the first of a few scripts waiting in the wings.]
no subject
[He says slowly, careful to hide the waver in his voice, and all the while he understands perfectly well what she must mean. He simply doesn't want to believe it.]
no subject
[Believe it, dude.
Erika's voice is weird and clipped and upset-trying-not-to-be because she doesn't want to fish for pity from someone she hurt, that's disgusting.]
Apologies are kind of useless, but don't - I don't want to create a misunderstanding. This wouldn't have happened at all if I had paid attention, so blame me. I challenged her to hack you.
no subject
Why? [She asked A2 to hack him? Why did she--] Is this because I couldn't get into the control network?
[Before she can answer, he's already decided that must be it, and he hangs his head in resignation.]
So you decided to find someone else to help you out. Haha, okay. I guess I really don't have a purpose here. You humans...have made plenty of progress here without my help. [He mumbles.] All I've been doing is wasting time.
no subject
That's not it. That's not it. I don't wa- it was a mistake.
[Listen! Listen! Or don't listen, because she's not worth listening to; she opens her mouth and things just get more complicated. She wants to beam intention directly into his brain. She wants to hand him a messy stack of her memories so he'll understand and stop hurting. She wants to run and hide and forget about it being her problem.
What the fuck is composure?]
It's not about, it wasn't about hurting you, I didn't believe her and I thought it would work like EDEN avatars and you wouldn't have to fight, it was a mistake. [She freezes dead for a second at a tickling sensation on her face and realizes that it's tears, because her eyes are wet, because she's freaking out, which is just absolutely fucking great. She blurts out the rest, knowing that she's got maybe eight seconds before things really go to hell in the eye goop department.] Whatever's going on now, I don't want it to- what do I have to do to fix it??
no subject
It wasn't a mistake that he was used a guinea pig.
His memories were a commodity. Just a means of proof.
It wasn't a mistake that Erika challenged A2 to hack him when she could have just asked for his help. He wanted to help. That's all he wanted to do. But he's been outclassed by a prototype with a bad disposition. What did A2 have that he didn't?]
I'm not an avatar, I'm an android. Is my personal data that meaningless that you thought it wouldn't hurt? I thought humans were...
[Compassionate. Intrinsically good. Better than this.
His voice cracks, and before he realizes it he's almost yelling.]
She could have deleted everything! My memories... My home... Even 2B...
[Erika is crying too, and it rips a hole in his chest, raw and beating. He wishes he had been the one stabbed. He wishes he were bleeding out. It hurts. It hurts... He didn't want to see her hurt either, but he couldn't push aside the boiling froth of emotions stirring inside him. All of this was wrong.
His words were somewhere between bitter and genuinely trying to comfort her.]
This was so damn meaningless, but hey...at least A2 proved she was better than me. Maybe she'll succeed where I couldn't. So...I hope you're happy.
no subject
But there is an instinct carved deep into Erika that says don't make excuses and find your goal and bleed for it and if throat-closing panic couldn't shut her up then that instinct would. She could cry and scream about how she's done things like this to humans and nobody got hurt (like this), about her memory server, about how it was all over a stupid fucking clock and she wasn't after A2's help in the first place, about how he has it all wrong in a way she can't even pick out because it's not about the facts of what happened?
But crying and screaming wouldn't help, she knows it in her bones more than her brain, so she puts it all through a sieve and cooks it down into hard truths and resignation. 9S will hate her, and avoid her and her bad decisions, and that will be better for him, and Erika will have done the right thing - yet again, once it's too late to really count, when the right and best thing is nothing better than damage control.
She bows her head and stays wordless, hands on her knees, biting back everything of her tears that she can, silent but for short unvoiced noises in the back of her throat she can't quite swallow down.]
no subject
All he was was an obstacle, now with his purpose served.
For the first time, he feels something for a human that is far from idealistic. He doesn't even want to look at Erika, but he can hear the sounds she's making, and he knows she's crying.
...and he hates that. He hates that she feels bad when she did this, but he can't quite bring himself to hate her. 9S only he hates himself, and A2 no longer factors into the equation.
Humans could be terrible sometimes.]
Stop crying... You didn't want a fight, but didn't you get everything else you wanted?
no subject
She shakes her head mutely.]
no subject
[9S lowers his head as well. His lips twist with uncertainty, and he really can't stand to see her upset like this.
His words come as weary mumbles.]
Okay, okay. I believe you. I find it hard to imagine you could cry this convincingly if you were lying.
no subject
I d-d-don't - [she sucks in a breath and near-whispers the rest.] - want you to believe me. I want to stop hurting you.
no subject
It's over, just forget it. I'm the one who wasn't strong enough.
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She shouldn't contradict his explicit wishes. Break the cycle right here - stop looping him into this awful reciprocal burden that keeps the wound open, and let him get away from this. She won't forget it, but she won't keep him pinned down here with fumbled justifications.
She's not crying anymore. She's not doing much of anything else, either.]
no subject
After awhile, he finally speaks, quiet and without looking directly at her.]
...Do you need some help to your room?
no subject
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[That hardly seems like a place to live, but right now 9S doesn't really have it in him to argue.]
Okay. Well...
[He shifts forward and finally stands. 9S peers down at her, and he wonders... If there's something he should say or do. If there's anything he can do, besides just leave now and let it all fester.]
no subject
Erika turns while crouched, hunches her shoulders when she stands, and goes silently and steadily to the room, trying to be small about it. Trying to leave without turning it into a dismissal, remove herself without conspicuously creeping away.
Jury's out on how well it goes.
The door slides tentatively closed.]