reverielogs | ( OPEN ) system zero

Entry tags:

( OPEN ) system zero

» WHO? Morgana + anyone who wants to get hit in the face with a communicator
» WHEN? 5/18, you know, around then
» WHERE? deck 6 corridors, observation deck
» WHAT? Morgana wakes up, thinks her communicator is possessed and then yells at the moons (Old Witch Yells At Space)
» WARNINGS? None, but I'll edit accordingly and warn in subject lines if anything comes up!

a; outside level 6 quarters

[ all things considered, this is not where she expected her soul to end up.

the cold, grimy floor of the deck corridor is not so unfamiliar to her that morgana is perplexed. no, it feels like somewhere she was before, and this dim lighting certainly doesn't help. there are key factors missing, and she uses those to ground herself. Don't forget about those things. It is not the same, she tells herself.

far less familiar to the girl is the device that buzzes. it comes alive, and it's looping message is curious. morgana thinks it's just someone speaking directly to her, and upon discovering it is not a person...

...the source of the noise, whatever this curious device is, must go. metal doesn't speak. morgana wastes no time in disposing of it.

by throwing it into the corridor.

you know, with her skeleton hand. there's a redhead with long braids lobbing her communicator down the corridor with such a disdain for the thing, you might think she was doing it for the vine.

hope it doesn't hit you in the face? ]

b; observation deck

[ the other point of offense was that hideous jumpsuit. morgana doesn't have spare clothing, though, so she raids the room she claims as her's, and can be spotted in the observation deck. the sheets off her bed have been pulled free of the mattress and wrapped around her like a cloak, covering most of her body. this is much more appropriate, she thinks - now, if she had a belt and some way to sew sleeves into it...

...but that's not why she's glowering out into space. her expression is hard, steely; she doesn't look particularly approachable. morgana is standing there, arms at her sides, one flesh hand exposed and one skeleton hand peeking out beneath the sheet settled over her shoulders. ]

...And I'm to believe there were two moons all this time? What sort of madman dreams up a world with two moons? I have to say, it's unique, at least.

[ she's calling it stupid. going quiet, the girl stands as still as a statue. she seems unaware anyone is at all present in the room with her...? ]

What are your ears for if not to listen? Decoration? I must say, my dear, I was hoping you might have an opinion on the doubling of that particular celestial body.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Somehow, it feels a little like he was just scolded.]

Oh! Um, yeah. [He fidgets with his sleeve, clearing his throat.] Well! Sometimes it's nicer to just look at the stars instead of knowing stuff about them anyway. There's a movie I adore, um... this one character says something like... we never just look at them. The stars. [A beat.] Uh, he said that for a different reason... but it's nice to just look without much else buzzing in your skull sometimes I think.

[ truthfully? in some manner of speaking, he was - morgana can't let anyone get close to her. ]

And you have things buzzing around in your skull often enough for you to look at the stars and learn about them? [ the joke is that morgana's voice is so soft and sweet, it's hard to imagine her saying such cruel things. it drops a little, like she's merely curious about how it came to be that way for him. ]

...I don't disagree with you. It's merely that we are perfect strangers, and I'm not the sort to make business with strangers, my dear. Don't take it so harshly.

[The concept makes sense enough for him, so he nods.]

Strangers frighten me, so I understand! But since everyone's in close quarters, I'm um... trying to just... get along I guess.

[He isn't sure if telling her his name will help? He thinks it helps him. But he doesn't know why she doesn't like talking to strangers, so he can't be sure.]

Um, I'm Jake. And... everyone here's pretty lost on everything and most of us are strangers I think. So it's probably a mite... awkward even for people who like that stuff.

[There are. Probably people who like talking to strangers? He won't discount that.]

[ ...
......
......... ]

I am Morgana.

[ he reminds her so much of giselle... ]

Just because I gave you my name doesn't mean that I am your friend now. I have no true need for such things now. I wouldn't worry too much about those you barely know, Jake, since you have yourself to take care of. Strangers frighten you, and whatnot.

[Somewhat flustered, he shakes his head quickly.]

Oh, no no, I wasn't— I wouldn't assume that, no worries.

[He can't imagine anyone wanting to be his friend. Morgana just stating it outright stings but it's nice that she's clear about it at least.]

But um, no, I... Just because they're strangers doesn't mean I can ignore them. They might need help.

[ ... this really is someone like giselle. it makes her skin crawl. ]

Do you truly believe that strangers deserve your help, my dear? That they are worthy of your time? That they won't turn you at some point? ...Or perhaps you expect something in return.

Oh goodness no. Honestly, I'm not even sure I could be of much help to people, so I'm not sure anyone will be keen to tip their hat in my favour in that regard... [He rubs the back of his neck, frowning. He definitely doesn't think strangers are the ones least deserving of something nice, between him and them.] But I dunno. It's not really about that... I suppose it's just about um... what's right to do? Anyhoo, if they turn on me, well, I probably did something to hurt them? I mean, um, that is to say that's just my way of thinking though! People always think differently and that's swell.

[ wow haha it's really like looking at giselle, which is mildly uncomfortable, because she's also seeing parts of herself in jake now. this wholehearted desire to help people and assuming there was a reason to the betrayal, how familiar. what next, will he say that the knives in his back are trials from God, too? who is this? who in the world is this? has he had a good life? morgana wonders. ]

...You are naive to the way of the world, my dear. You're afraid to offend me, I can tell. The way you make sure I know you don't mind what I feel is the "right" way to live or think, as if you can't bear the idea of losing the conversation at hand. And when I say losing, I don't mean that as if it is a fight. No, as if it is a trinket you can lose. Tell me, is it because you seek approval from even strangers, or because you're afraid of me? Or perhaps you are not used to strangers at all. Which is it? They're all quite sad, pathetic, even, but the distinction tells me a lot about yourself.

[He flusters and drops his gaze, fingers twisting the fabric of his sleeve. It isn't as though she's wrong. Everything about him is sad and pathetic.]

No, I just don't want to hurt people again. So I just... didn't want to do something to make you hurt too. I mean you're probably right, though! Um, about all of that stuff I mean. But um, I guess um... it's a mix of the bit where I'm scared to be alone and I've always been alone? So um. Yep. Sad and pathetic. Sorry.

[ ...

......

......... ]

It is impossible to live life without hurting others. You cannot predict how they react, and simply trying to cover up your mistakes with preemptive apologies does not create a bandaid over the wounds you will inevitably make as you stumble through life like a newborn deer, my dear.

You know that quite well, don't you?

[He nods quickly. What Morgana doesn't realise is that speaking cruelly simply voices his own thoughts about himself. It's almost refreshing.] Right, so— I mean, fiddlesticks— Do you have any ideas, Morgana? I thought about becoming hermit! You know, so no one will have to deal with me? No mess no fuss, everyone wins. But then my... [He pauses. It still doesn't feel right to call them friends. They deserve a much better friend than him.] ...people I know seem kind of against it? They're big-hearted, you know, they can't help feeling some sympathy for me I think?

[Wait. He's pushing this off on her. Goddamn it. He raises his hands.]

Oh, fuck, not that you have to suggest anything? Please don't if you'd rather not. Goodness knows a ghost probably has a world of things you have to deal with. Like, an afterworld of things, I guess? Or maybe both worlds worth which would be double. [Jake can math.] But you seem so smart! So if you have suggestions, I'm all ears. I'll try to keep that apology bit in mind! So um. Thank you for that much.

[ morgana listens to all of this and all she gets out of it is that jake is... trusting her opinion? oh no. that's dangerous territory. no no no no she is not going through that again, absolutely not. no. ]

Fiddle-- never mind that! Are you always this stupid or is this a special act being put on for me alone? What advice do you think I have for you to help you sort out your interpersonal problems?

[ THIS IS WHY HE HAS THESE PROBLEMS? HE'S TOO TRUSTING? someone will take advantage of that. ... that would be terrible. ]

[She seems somehow more confused, which confuses him back. He's not sure what she's confused about since he was very honest with her. But that's fair of her to think.]

Um! I don't know! Like I said you don't have to... I wasn't really asking for advice on that I promise! I just... you made a good point was all. I didn't mean to pressure you.

You are asking me questions without expecting me to answer. Would you prefer speaking to one of the walls here?

N—No, I just— Sorry, this is frightfully insensitive of me. Here I am being a right blatherskite about all my petty problems and making this all one-sided. What would you rather talk about? You said you didn't get the chance to read really so um... we could talk about stuff you like! Like, um, hobbies and whatnot!

[ a beat. ]

No... I'm fine not talking about myself.

Tell me about the stars.

[ ...morgana really was interested, all this time. ] In my time, they were regarded as the Heavens themselves, a celestial space only for those worthy.

[It doesn't matter. He's just happy to do something nice for her.]

Really? Well, space is still pretty nifty even without it being Heaven. [Though he guesses it might be heaven? Space in his universe is pretty weird so who knows. Anyway.] I tried to read as much as I could about it because of my grandma but I don't have her knack for it. Still, um, I did pick up a few things...

Stars are impossibly massive for starters. They form because they're so big they just collapse in on themselves into a big burning ball. [He clears his throat. He's never explained science to anyone before, especially since his friends are all more talented in that field than him. But he wants to explain it well for her.] See, there's loads of dust in space. And in areas with lots of dust, it collects together. And you know, kinda like balls of lint, right? It just keeps rolling up more dust. Only it's so big and heavy that all that material gets hot. That's why stars are so bright. Oh but um, my favourite bit about stars is that they're so far away, the light takes a while to reach us. So, when you look at the night sky, it's kind of like... looking at a moment in time, um, how things were at that exact moment the light started shining.

[ this is a lot of science talk, but he dumbs it down enough for morgana to grasp the concept. the light is actually a fire? somehow that seems fitting for her beliefs, even in this place. ]

In other words, it's like gazing into the past. ...The idea isn't lost on me. Perhaps, in that way, I've been observing the skies for a long, long time now...

Your grandmother was a scholar, then?

[He smiles to see her understanding it. She seems to like it, he thinks, which makes him happy. But the way his smile lights up at the question might be a little like the stars, too; a happiness from a long time ago.]

Something like that, yeah! She studied all sorts of things and was a fierce, intelligent lady who could do anything she put her mind to. But space came naturally to her above everything else. She's not as known for it as all the things she actually put out findings for but I think that's because... she didn't have to work for it? It was just always part of her. Like... a personal connection kind of feeling, I guess.

And so, a personal connection to space is what you carved out for yourself.

[ it's a statement, not a question. it's almost bitingly sympathetic, as if to say, "you poor, poor thing." ]

You sound dreadfully fond of her.

[Although a bit flustered, he misses that the way she says it. It's so hard not to be happy thinking about her. He just smiles.]

Mhm. She was the only guardian I knew. She raised me for the first few years.

[He considers asking her about hers, then recalls she doesn't want to talk about herself, so asking probably falls under that. And since he doesn't want her sad like before, he tries to stay on the topic she seems to like.]

Ummm... space is nice, though! People have been to space now, you know. We put a man on the moon and everything. I heard you can even buy moon rocks.

[ the first few years? ...morgana does not respond for a time, only staring out into the great vastness of space. ]

Only the first few, you say.

[ how familiar. and yet he loves her so dearly. ]

[He hesitates. But since Morgana brought it up again, he decides it's all right to mention. Jake rubs at his wrist in slow, idle circles.]

Um, yeah. She died when I was young. [A pause.] Uh, well, 'murdered', rather, but... Yes.

[ haha. bingo. ]

A question for you, then, my dear.

Do you hate the people who did that to her?

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