( open ) i am desperate if nothing else

[onlydoubts]

» WHO? bodhi rook + yourself!
» WHEN? after the gravity comes back
» WHERE? the bar
» WHAT? bodhi gets a reminder from home

» WARNINGS? spoilers from rogue one - possible canon typical subjects such as planetary destruction, death, as well as nightmares...

[ He's heard about people getting things from home, sure. It's been brought up over the network a few times, but it's still startling to Bodhi, when one morning he reaches into his cupboard to pull out the standard issue jumpsuit and his hand brushes over fabric that's different but familiar - and he freezes for a moment before pulling out the uniform. The grey flightsuit with it's scuffed symbol of the Galactic Empire - with it's tattered sleeves and places he'd chosen to mend the material rather than get rid of it...

"It's a reminder... of what I had to do to get here." is what he'd told Jyn. That hasn't changed. It still has that meaning, but it's also a reminder - he doesn't know what happened. On Scarif, to the others - but he's sure that he didn't make it.

With a sigh, Bodhi pulls the uniform on. ]

a ) the bar - an ungodly hour

[ Though, is it really? Time passes differently in space, there are not really cycles of day or night - only the aforementioned time on the device. So, yes. It is late. Closer to breakfast, than dinner. And he couldn't sleep, and when he did - he couldn't stay asleep. So here we are. Bodhi has never been much of a drinker, not really. On occasion, when he'd had the opportunity to stop at a decent cantina while planetside - but these trips got less and less frequent when he'd been transferred to make runs from Jedha to Eadu.

He's wearing his uniform -- his Imperial uniform, just having gone from one jumpsuit to another. But the goggles are not on presently, perhaps due to the large gash that ran from the bridge of his nose, and diagonally above his left eye, almost up to his hairline. A result of debris nearly smashing his helmet when he'd been on his space walk. Instead, he has them in his hands, fidgeting with the straps, a half drunk glass of something that is definitely not Corellian brandy in front of him, and a faraway look in his eyes. But if you sit by him, he'll look up after a moment or two. ]

Hey. Evening. I mean... morning. 

b) elsewhere

[ Later, Bodhi can be found wandering the halls of different decks - he's still exploring the ship, looking for the others he was with before. Even if every day he doesn't find them, he's a little less hopeful that they're here. In the mess hall, he normally sits on his own, with a cup of coffee, picking at his food.

It's rare he goes by the exercise room, warnings of muscle loss aside - he just doesn't... enjoy that kind of physical activity. Still, he tries - taking out frustration on a punching bag with forceful hits that lack any kind of skill or precision. He seems winded after barely five minutes. ]

Comments

a)

[resleeves]

[ it's the uniform that catches his eye. if not for that, he probably would have ignored the man entirely. the bar is his home away from home, a place he likes to spend time because it's not his room but it's usually not too crowded. it gives him a chance to breathe.

glass in hand, kovacs looks over, taking in the jumpsuit. it's not the same one he's had to wear but it's not familiar either. not from his world.

still, he's almost jealous that the guy has a change of clothes. ]

Morning.

[ kovacs nods at the uniform. ]

You get a new job on this fucking station? Clean up crew?

[ probably not. he's been here awhile and hasn't lifted a finger to try and pick anything up but the booze he's drinking. ]

[onlydoubts]

What? Oh.

[ It takes Bodhi a second to connect in his mind what the newcomer sitting next to him might mean. A new job? His clothing, while it's different now it's similar enough it could pass as station garb. He smooths a hand over front of the flight suit and shakes his head. ]

No. It's um. The uniform is mine, from before. I found it this morning. I'm not on a cleaning crew.

If there's even such a thing. [ He hasn't seen the thing about the jobs, arriving after that had been a subject. Bodhi just assumes people clean up on their own. ]

[resleeves]

A cleaning crew's probably too much to ask for.

[ and it was probably for the better too. less people to breathe the air that was circulating through the life support system. who knew when the fuck that shit was gonna go. the gravity had already shit the bed once, kovacs wasn't going to be surprised if other shit started going next. ]

Wait.

[ fuck the cleaning crew. ]

You saying that wasn't here yesterday?

[ it had just appeared? or was this guy a little fragged in the head and didn't remember what the fuck was in his bunk when he showed up? ]

[onlydoubts]

I wouldn't mind doing it, if there were. I could use something to do.

[ Everything here felt so aimless. Not knowing why they were here, how they got here - what would happen next. One could only wander the corridors or sit at the bar so much. Maybe it was because he was so used to having to work, constantly.

While he's not wrong about him not being entirely there, Bodhi is well aware that what he's saying is true. ]

No, it wasn't. You know how none of us arrived in what we were wearing before? This was what I had on, and I hadn't seen it since then.. Wasn't in there yesterday or the day before.

I'd heard people getting things from home, but... I don't know. Not sure how it appeared in the cupboard without my notice.

[resleeves]

You know, you're the second person I've run into on this station that's said they'd be okay with cleaning other people's shit up. You people really need to work on your goals and ambitions.

[ kovacs was bored and occasionally, he was really bored but he wasn't about to start picking shit up just to give himself to do. no, he'd just sleep and drink until things started getting interesting again. ]

I had not heard about shit from home arriving.

[ that's...a thing. it's not that kovacs wants something specific from home but the fact that something that wasn't here one day can be here the next is telling. what it means, kovacs doesn't know, but it's something to muse on. ]

It's really fucking nice that items can come and go but we're fucking stuck here. I'd prefer that I get taken back to my home instead of one of my fucking shirts showing up here.

[onlydoubts]

[ He's used to being of low rank. ]

I'd work my way up. Figure I could start with smaller things, take on larger tasks as I go. Who knows, maybe I can earn enough trust to wind up in charge.

[ And he seems totally serious, too... except, he's not serious. Well, he is. Just not about being in charge. ]

I've heard about it, once or twice over the network. Didn't really believe it until I saw it for myself.

And I agree with you. [ does he, though? Bodhi is fairly sure he doesn't have anything to go back to, he's sure he won't find out the fate of the mission or his team, not staring down an explosion that he was only seconds away from. Or had it already taken him? For a moment, he's silent, lost in thought. But the moment passes, quickly, and he's back to talking, gesturing as he speaks. ]

I -- I think we'll find a way off. We just need to keep looking. If someone is responsible for bringing us here, we just need to find them and get them to send us back.

[ Probably easier said than done, but given how many of them there are here... ]

[resleeves]

Wind up --

[ kovacs waits for the guy to laugh like he's joking but he doesn't and all kovacs can do is roll his eyes and shake his head. that ain't never gonna fucking happen, not in this place. he sure as shit wasn't going to recognize anyone who decided to be in charge. ]

Okay, you reach for the stars. Maybe you'll avoid one falling on you and crushing you to the death.

[ not likely. this station was a fucking death trap. ]

Yeah, yeah, that's all well and good and optimistic but where the fuck would these people be hiding? If they were in the station, wouldn't we know? Hear something? Feel something?

Don't know about you but unless these people are being that fucking quiet. I don't think there's anyone here but us.

[ more likely kovacs thinks there's people down on that planet there and they are making no fucking effort to come and help them. ]

exercise room.

[oddbod]

[Honestly, Clara's not actually sure that she can build or lose muscle, so when she hits the treadmill one morning, as the rest of the station is just rising, it's mainly out of restlessness. Well, restlessness, and curiosity about how far she can push herself. Being a sort of zombie is just as confusing for her as it is for everyone else.

She's been sprinting for a straight half-hour when Bodhi comes in, and she slows to a bit of a jog once she sees him having trouble. As much of a show-off as Clara is, there's need to make this guy feel bad. Finally, when she notices him (very quickly) start to get winded, she turns off her machine and looks over at him.]

You've got to make sure you're breathing enough. [She's a teacher by trade, but her voice is kind.] Deep and even, not shallow.

[onlydoubts]

[ He'd seen Clara when he'd walked in, but had mostly kept his eyes down and had picked the bag, planning to try that and a few different things (except the pool).

It's frustrating how quickly he winds down on the simple exercise. So much for that.

He turns, having heard Clara speak at last. ]

What? [ Still breathing quickly, he brushes his hair from his face. ]

If I slow down, I can't seem to hit it. [ Not with a lot of force, at least. ]

[oddbod]

[Gently, ] If you don't, you'll make yourself pass out.

[Clara steps off the treadmill and walks over; from up close, it's apparent that there's not a drop of sweat on her, despite her intense workout.]

Breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth. [She demonstrates, slow and soothing.]

[onlydoubts]

Okay, I'll try. [ Bodhi nods, as Clara gets closer and copies her action, trying to slow his breathing to something deep and slow from his current breathless rate. After a moment, he notices when she gets close, opening one eye to peek at her ... she must be very good, if she's not tired, at all. ]

Are you a trainer of some sort?

[oddbod]

[Clara could almost laugh at that. She's always hated exercise.]

Nah. I just do a lot of running, back home. You sort of start to pick up on what works after awhile.

[onlydoubts]

Oh. [ Bodhi wipes a strand of hair out of face, before steadying the bag at last. ] You must be good at this, then - you were already in here when I came in, and don't seem very tired.

[ Meanwhile, he's a damn mess... ]

[pampa]

[ miller just grunts, tipping his glass this way and that. it's still half full but he gave up a little while ago, just watching the liquid slosh through the air slowly in the low gravity. a black porkpie hat with a feather in it is sitting on the bartop next to him and he runs his free hand over his mohawked hair, belatedly turning to look at his new drinking companion. he studies the gash on the man's face and it makes him remember his own injuries, the bruises on his ribs singing now that he's sobering up. why was he doing that at 4 am again? ]

Does it matter, kid? [ what time of the day it is. they're in freaking space if he hasn't noticed. ]

[onlydoubts]

[ Bodhi raises his eyes up towards Miller, briefly before turning his gaze back towards the bar and the hat that sat down on it.

Pauses. ]

No, I suppose it doesn't.

[ He replies at last. It's difficult to keep a semblance of a schedule when he'd never had one before, even back when he'd been working for the Empire. Something that was looking to keep, here. Dropping the goggles on the bar, he picks up his drink and idly taps his fingers on both sides of the glass. ]

Nice hat.

[ Great conversation starter, Rook. ]

[pampa]

[ his eyes dart this way and that like he's trying to decide if bodhi is being sincere. instead of getting to the bottom of it though, he just volleys back a familiar- ] It keeps the rain off my head. [ get it? cause there's no rain in space. ]

[onlydoubts]

[ He means it. It's very peculiar!

Just like the answer he gets from Miller. Bodhi raises a brow. ]

It must be doing a good job, with there being no rain here, and all.

[ ... though, really he wouldn't be surprised to learn that it had actually rained inside the ship, at some point. ]

[pampa]

Exactly. [ he takes a long sip and settles the hat back on his head, revealing the handgun sitting on the bartop. ] Or maybe it's like a... self-fulfilling prophecy. For as long as I wear the hat, the rain stays away. [ makes sense, right? he downs the rest of his glass and pours another right away. ]

[onlydoubts]

[ Bodhi casts a glance at Miller's drinking... partner, sitting on the bar. Just there. He purses his lips, before... ]

D'you take your weapon out drinking often?

[ Blurted, asked without preamble or much thought.

But it's a legit question okay. ]

exercise

[subplot]

[Now that Karen's aware she's losing weight she can't actually afford to lose and is also rapidly losing muscle mass, she tries working out. It's not that she doesn't enjoy the activity, she just hates being pulled away from spending hours alone researching door codes. Today is one of the rare times that she decides to visit the gym and heads for the punching bags. Someone's already in the area so she tries to stand facing the other in a way that won't bother him.

When she punches, its lacking skill but not precision. She manages to hit it, harder and harder each repeat of the punching motion. but she's sloppy and manages to hurt her hand, and curses under her breath as she steps back to shake her hand. That's when she glances over his way and takes note of his lack of success and the fact he seems a little winded too. ]

We're not very good at this, are we.

[The fact makes her laugh at herself as she reaches up to wipe at sweat on her forehead.]

[onlydoubts]

[ Bodhi is dimly aware of not being alone in the gym at this time, that there is someone else here, not far from him, also working with the bag. But he doesn't disturb her, keeping on working on his own bad.

Getting increasingly more and more frustrated, and vaguely aware that the women who'd come in a short while ago seemed to share a similar issue with him. He peeks around the bag to see Karen shaking her hand out. ]

No, it doesn't seem like we are. [ Bodhi grins shakily, pulling his hair out of his face. ] It's ...more difficult than it looks.

[subplot]

Practice will only make you better.

[It's gently pointed out as she grabs hold of the bag she's been punching so she can make it go still. ]

Is there a reason you're wanting to punch things?

[If he's not very good at it, he might have had something happen that has driven him to trying. And Karen being as nosy as she is, she's always in the mood to try and help a stranger work through something.]

[onlydoubts]

That's what I'm told. [ Bodhi shrugs, letting his own bag come to a stop. ] Honestly, not really. I know we're supposed to exercise in all this, and out of all the machines in here, it looked like an easy place to start.

[ getting to put out his frustration had kind of played into it, but seeing as he was now more frustrated than before... ]

Guess I didn't have the right idea.

[subplot]

Hey. [She softly interjects that thought, shaking her head as she reaches out to touch at his arm.]

It's the right idea. It just takes work. Not everything comes easily the first time you try it.

[Supporting him with words only goes so far, and she knows it. So with a smile, she motions for him to step in closer to her. She's been taught how to throw a punch, and even if she isn't very good at it, she can pass that knowledge down to him.]

[onlydoubts]

Sorry. I know, it's just -- [ just...? a lot of things. So much for any sort of good first impression here. Bodhi hesitates for a moment, before nodding and moving forward. ]

Thanks. I'm Bodhi.