make a wish and i'll count to three [ota]

[resleeves]

» WHO? kovacs + you
» WHEN? mid june
» WHERE? various
» WHAT? backpack discovery, drinking, nostalgia, introspection
» WARNINGS? language, for sure. anything else, i'll update.

001. mess hall

[ hello unicorn.

it's the first thing that kovacs sees when he walks into the mess hall to get something to drink. hello unicorn emblazoned on a pink, dirty backpack. for a second, kovacs is taken right back to bay city, right back to that shitty dealer and his need to buy the whole fucking stash of drugs.

he can feel the harsh lights of the various establishments and smell the stench of booze and blood and death. for a second, kovacs just stares at the backpack, thinking it some kind of trick. when he realizes what the fuck he's doing, he steps closer and grabs the backpack.

it's light which means it's empty but it's still his and he doesn't waste any goddamn time in hefting it on one shoulder and then sitting down to eat.

hello unicorn. ]

002. bar

[ he's still wearing the backpack. in fact, he hasn't really taken it off since it showed up and he doesn't plan on it either. it doesn't matter that the fucker's empty, it matters that it's hit, it's from bay city and that's enough for a signal for him to tell him that he'll get back there one day.

but, today is not that day so today, he's drinking. while he drinks, he settles the backpack on the bar and goes through it again. there's still nothing but he wants to make sure he hasn't missed anything.

and then he decides to slide a bottle inside of the backpack and zip it up.

now, it's not empty. ]

003. observation area

[ that stupid fucking backpack's made him think of quell. he doesn't know why since she'd never seen it before, not even when she decided to pop up and fuck him up even more. but, he's desperate enough that he doesn't even mind when she appears to him and only him.

he misses her. that's the bottom line. he misses quell but it's a fucking stupid thing to be experiencing because she's dead and she's not coming back. not this time. her stack's probably in little pieces over harlan's world.

why hadn't he stopped to try and find it?

waste of time. ]

Fuck you.

[ and then he punches the observation window, doing absolutely no damage to the thick glass but cracking his knuckles a bit.

good. ]

Comments

[resleeves]

[ his backpack was amazing and look what it did, it carried amazing things. ]

Moongirl?

[ had he met someone named moongirl recently? ]

You mean the girl who says she's the bartender? She was there when I took it so...

[ maybe she'd given him a pass because of his cool backpack. ]

[pampa]

Yeah. The cute blonde who's way too happy all the time. She's from some moon in some system I've never heard of.

Hey, maybe she likes you. [ he grunts thoughtfully ] Then again, she likes everyone.

[resleeves]

She liked my backpack.

[ but how could you not like it? look at it, it was stupendous. ]

And she made me a few pretty decent drinks. Didn't know she had that in her.

[ of course, their most recent conversation had been about missing noses. so. ]

[pampa]

Yeah, she's a pretty okay bartender for a twelve-year-old.

[ he looks up like he's steeling himself for something before settling on kovacs' face. ] Fine. What's the deal with the kiddie bag?

[resleeves]

Is she twelve? Older than I thought.

[ somewhere, katarina was probably frowning for some reason. and wanting ot smack a couple of jackasses. ]

It's mine.

[ he sighs and reaches over, traces a finger over the stitching. quell had never seen this bag. she would have thought it ridiculous but it's the only connection to home he has and home had given him quell so the memories of her were strong right now. ]

Found it in the cafeteria. Just sitting there. It was one of the first things I bought after I'd been thawed out back home. Just showed up like it had been here all the fucking time.

[pampa]

[ he tips his head. it was a guesstimate okay. ]

That's how my hat was, just sitting at the bar like I'd left it there. But the thing is, I left it back on Ceres, goddamn months ago. [ and now his gun... ] And this, this is my gun, right? But I didn't have my gun. Fred Johnson gave me his gun. [ before he went off on the suicide mission he told kovacs about before.

miller stuffs the gun into his back pocket so he can reach for the booze and swig right from the bottle. there are no cooties among sort-of friends right?? ]

[resleeves]

[ he'd had a cootie shot when he was a kid. rei had looked out for him just as much as he'd looked out for her so you were safe, miller. ]

How does that make any fucking sense? We can't get the fuck off this thing but our stuff can somehow just show up?

[ where was the logic? what was the point? to remind them that they were stuck and here was something to taunt you with that knowledge? ]

I didn't even get a fucking gun.

[ the backpack was fine but he'd had preferred something that could have been useful for more than just carrying bottles of booze around.

not that that was a bad thing. ]

I hate this shit.

[ with a passion. ]

[pampa]

[ he hands kovacs back the bottle while wiping his mouth with the back of his other hand. ]

Shut up and drink, dickbag. [ the way miller tips his head is almost conciliatory. ] You'll feel better.

[resleeves]

I fucking hope so.

[ he reaches for the bottle and takes several long pulls, letting it burn all the way down. ]

Learned something about you recently. Wanna know what it is?

[ because he wanted to share. ]

[pampa]

[ he screws up his face, taking off his hat to scratch at his head before plopping it back down. ]

If you heard it from one of the Roci's... probably not. [ a beat ] What is it?

[resleeves]

What's beretna mean?

[ you can blame alex for that one. ]

I'm gonna make it your new name.

[ no escaping it, miller. ]

[pampa]

[ UGH WHO TOLD HIM THAT. miller makes a face and snatches the liquor back forcefully. ]

It's beratna. And don't call me that. [ almost a growl as he takes a long swig ]

[resleeves]

Why not?

[ he was just barely holding back laughter. just barely. he let the bottle go, a smirk on his face. ]

What's it mean?

[ pause for effect...]

Beratna.

[pampa]

[ UGHHHHHHHH it's even worse when kovacs says it right tbh. he mulls it over a minute, shivering as he gulps down too much liquor at once. kovacs is probably going to harass him with this now whether he tells him or not, so he figures- what's the harm? but he can't help thinking of havelock then. what's welwala? ]

It means brother. [ through grit teeth, naturally ]

[resleeves]

Brother, huh?

[ you were right, miller, kovacs was absolutely going to harass you with that now especially since he'd seen the reaction it got out of miller.

that, naturally, just made him want to use it more. ]

How'd that name get attached to you?

[pampa]

It didn't. Someone thinks they're being cute. [ and he thinks he knows EXACTLY who to blame. ]

[resleeves]

[ it's a little difficult not to smile. okay, it's a lot difficult. ]

So, you saying this person doesn't think of you like that? You and this person don't have that sort of connection and bond?

[ kovacs is pretty sure miller already knows who he's talking about but he's trying to do his part and protect alex's identity for at least a little while longer. ]

[pampa]

He's a Martian, he's not my brother. [ unless it was amos... but he's banking on alex for this one. ] And neither are you, for the record.

[resleeves]

I'm not?

[ kovacs mock gasps and puts a hand to his heart. his broken, beaten, terribly bruised heart now that this terrible news has been broken to him. ]

What am I then, if not your beratna?

[pampa]

No. [ another pointed look!!!! he doesn't actually have a good comeback for kovac's question and he's sALTY ABOUT IT!!! they have been spending a lot of time together... ] A pain in my ass, that's what.

[resleeves]

[ better than some of the things he'd been called in his life! pain in the ass meant he'd actually made an impression. ]

Took you awhile to come up with an answer there.

[ yes, he'd noticed, miller. he'd noticed. ]

You a little confused?

[pampa]

[ he touches a hand to his temple ] It must be old age, you know how it is.

[resleeves]

Ah, I see the significance of the hat now.

[ he really did kind of like you miller. this was how he showed it. ]

So, when all that hair starts to fall out as you age, you can cover up the patchy spots.

[pampa]

[ he grunts. close but no cigar kovacs. he gestures with the bottle idly. ]

It was my dumb best friend's hat, asshole. He's dead, too.

[resleeves]

[ ah, a sentimental item. something that had meaning and emotion attached to it. kovacs wonders what that feels like, having something that meaningful. ]

Didn't take you for that sentimental of a person. There a heart under all that shit?

[ he motions to miller's entire being with a finger and then tries to grab the bottle away from him. ]