(no subject)

[donkeyballs]

» WHO? The Roci Crew and whoever else wants in on this mess
» WHEN? after the gravity is back
» WHERE? A few different places
» WHAT? A few different prompts as well as a catch-all for any roci crew or related logs for the month of june
» WARNINGS? these are all just terrible people what do you want from me


001: Alex, Bobbie and Amos are Judging You

The Martians and the Earther are sitting at a table in the Mess Hall, and they've started a game. That game? To rate everyone else on the ship in order of attractiveness. Want to be rated? Find the comment header below, drop a picture in of your character, and watch the comments fly. Feel free to overhear them and give them hell.


002: Closed, Alex >> Frank

Going on the morning walk-about to search for Holden was ritual, at this point, and Alex was very used to Frank coming over first thing before they headed out. So the door was already open, waiting for him. Alex was fishing through his drawers, trying to find where he'd stashed that singular glove that he'd found, to show him for a laugh. But instead his fingers found something else - a thin sheet of plastic, creased and bent a hundred thousand times, and Alex's heart nearly stopped.

He pulled it out of the drawer like it was made of plutonium, careful not to touch the edges of the drawer with it.

Christ. Oh, Christ.


003: Open, Alex >> Anyone who wants to find this wrecked man.

He goes straight to the bar.

It's not that he isn't a fairly regular fixture there, anyway, but especially right now, all he really wants is to drink until he numbs everything. So hi, have a depressed Martian with a bottle of who knows what, sitting at the bar and just staring at a picture of a woman and a child smiling lovingly at the camera. He keeps stroking his thumb over it, then looking wrecked and saying something like 'god damn it' under his breath before he pours himself another drink. One of his arms is still wrapped up in a sling against his chest.

If he recognizes you, he might look up when you get close, and sigh. "Hey, partner. Everythin' alright?" Because it's a lot easier to worry about other people, than to keep being miserable about yourself.

Comments

[donkeyballs]

[ The relief at Prax's grip floods him, even if he has to look down at his own hands to make sure they're still there, that he can't see the bones or the tendons or-- ]

It wasn't a dream, Doc. It wasn't. The glass- the glass proves it, but I don't know if I was - if I was seein' things but I felt it, I felt the whole damn lot of it--

[contorta]

Okay.

( it wasn't a dream. what was it, though? prax deliberately slows his own breathing a little more. )

More at the beginning. What wasn't a dream? ( that's probably not actually helping, so he moves another step back and then another until they're in front of his bed. he half pushes alex down, half hopes alex will sit willingly. )

It's all right. Take a deep breath, okay?

[donkeyballs]

[ He isn't hard to guide, so it doesn't take much to push him down to the bed and get him to sit. ]

I'm losin' my mind. [ Half to Prax and half to himself, and he tries to take a deep breath but another one follows it too close, and then another, and he's struggling to slow them down. ]

I'm losin' my goddamn mind, just like the ex-oh--

[contorta]

( he doesn't know what happened to the XO, so that reference doesn't make any kind of sense to prax, but he keeps a hand on alex's arm because alex reacted well to the contact before. angles his body toward alex, too. )

Okay, you're doing good. Just slow down a bit more. In and out, okay? ( prax demonstrates, pushing down his own feelings of helplessness and inadequacy. he's not that kind of doctor, alex, he has no idea what he's doing here. )

you know you've had too many panic attacks when

[donkeyballs]

[ You're the closest thing to a doctor he's got, Prax. His steeley-eyed man of science. Not that he's thinking about that right now. Instead, he's slipping into a panic attack, his heart rate increasing quickly.

He tries to follow Prax's breathing, but he's struggling, the more he thinks about slowing down the more he realises he's speeding up, and he can't control it. ]

oh no ;;

[contorta]

( he's a steely-eyed man of plant science! plants don't have panic attacks. or lungs. this doesn't happen with plants. what does he do?

not panic himself. that's probably a good starting point, right? just breathing isn't working, clearly, so he switches tactics. can alex panic if he's talking? he was doing better when he's talking. )

All right. So, the ex-oh. Tell me about him. What happened to him? ( that's —probably not going to end well, either, is it? )

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[donkeyballs]

[ He can panic and talk at the same time, but the question is different enough that he has to think about it, rather than his breathing. ]

He - started talkin' to his plants, and then just lost it. Broke all of 'em, scattered the earth around the floor, started cryin'--

[ His breathing started to pick up again, as his brain connected the dots. ]

It ain't - I - I know I should want to go back to Mars, doc, I know I should, but I don't--

[contorta]

I talk to my plants.

( it's a throwaway comment, not a major point. and he only does it sometimes. )

I don't think you should. If you were back on Mars, who'd fly the ship?

[donkeyballs]

Not like he did, Doc.

[ He talked to the Roci, but - he doesn't actually remember that. Where the Rocinante should be, there's a dark hole in his memory. Which is why, to the question, Alex just gives him a confused look, and then assumes he means the station. ]

There ain't anythin' for me to fly. If I could fly this thing outta here, I would.

[contorta]

( it's a weird answer, but all of this is weird. at least for the moment, alex seems to be breathing a little more regularly, so prax isn't going to push it. )

All right. I don't smash my plants, either.

( maybe it's better if they just talk about plants for a while? that seems like a reasonably safe topic. )

[donkeyballs]

I sure as hell hope you don't.

[ But something glosses over his expression. ]

I smashed the glass, though. Tried to take a drink but I couldn't--

[contorta]

( there's a bar, so that's where prax's mind goes. of course it is. there's no judgment in his tone when he asks: )

Were you drunk? Because that sometimes happens. It's nothing to worry about. ( but even as he says it, he figures it can't be that easy. )

[donkeyballs]

No.

[ He shook his head, firmly, looking haunted. ]

No, I - I woke up, and it was - I was drenched, the bed was drenched, and I was so damn thirsty I felt like my throat was made of paper --

[ But as he says it, he is suddenly really aware of his throat, and how it just barely feels dry, and he suddenly looks up at Prax, very quickly. ]

Water. You've got some water, right?

[contorta]

Do you want a glass?

( he doesn't like that haunted look. alcohol would have been the easy explanation, but he believes alex when he says that wasn't it. )

[donkeyballs]

Please.

[ He looks down at his hands after the request, holding them out, palms up, and they're shaking. But he's not looking for the shake. He's looking at the muscles, trying to see if they're all still there, make sure they aren't withering away.

He turns them back over and the slight flex of his fingers makes his tendons stand out for a half a second and a stab of panic grips him, but then they're back to normal.

He lets out a breath he didn't realise he was holding, and it's shaky. ]

[contorta]

I got it.

( he amends, a moment later, hoping that it won't turn into a lie: ) I got you, Alex. ( he'll be right back with that water. he'll just let go where he's still holding on to alex's arm for a moment to walk to the bathroom to get some water for alex. )

[donkeyballs]

[ He waits, and he tries to get his hands to stop shaking, and he tries not to look at the salt crust on his clothes.

He stands up abruptly and follows Prax to the bathroom instead. Sorry, Plant guy. He can't deal with sitting still, right now. ]

You're okay, right? [ He knows he's already asked, but it doesn't matter. ] The others - are they okay?

[contorta]

( it's not a big bathroom, so the space gets kind of crowded with alex and prax both in there, but prax just hunches his shoulders a little to make himself smaller and turns back to alex. )

Yeah. I'm okay. You're okay, too. And so are the others.

( his voice is soft. gentle. the way he talks to mei after she's had a bad dream. this close, in a small space, the smell of alex's clothing is almost overwhelming. )

Do you — ( should he even ask? ) Want to take a shower? It might make you feel better.

[donkeyballs]

[ Sorry, Doc, he is just paranoid about empty rooms right now. He looks at Prax a little nervously at the question. ]

If I-- if I take one, it ain't just gonna speed it up, right? Just take all the water right out of my body with it? Can you dehydrate in a shower?

[contorta]

( it's such an odd thing to be concerned about, but after a second of incomprehension, the pieces form a picture that makes sense, for all that it seems wildly implausible.

still, he has to ask: ) Is that what happened to you? Dehydration. ( it shouldn't be possible, but the limits of the possible have already been stretched beyond all measure.

firmly: ) No. You won't. I'll stay and make sure of it.

[donkeyballs]

I don't know. But it - it was like every cell in my body just - pushed all the water right outta me. [ He didn't quite shudder, but he did look very green.

Then he looked up at Prax, incredibly grateful. ]

... Thanks, Doc. I appreciate it.

[contorta]

( alex looks green and with sudden and startling clarity, prax gets why. he'd be panicked, too, if something like that happened to him. )

I'm not going anywhere. ( he promises, more firmly even than before. )

[donkeyballs]

[ It means a lot, and it's obvious that it does, before Alex just nods.

The actual shower is a slightly awkward affair - less because of stripping naked and more just because every time he looks at his hands he has to check that they aren't disintegrating. Ten minutes later, though, with a towel wrapped around him, he's breathing is a little more stabilized and he no longer smells like death. (Literally.) ]

I've got a - another jumpsuit. In my room.

[contorta]

( alex looks fine.

not in a sexual sense, though he's not an ugly guy of course, but prax checks for any signs of what happened, for the dehydration while alex is naked and under the shower because after that revelation, how can he not? he figures alex won't mind if he keeps a close eye, either, given that alex keeps looking at his hands like they might fall off. )

Do you want to get it? You can also have my spare, if you want.

[donkeyballs]

[ He swallows, nervous, and the act of swallowing makes him suddenly and paranoidly thirsty - so before he actually answers he takes the few steps back to the sink, turns it on, and gulps down a few handfuls. Okay. Better.

He looks sheepish when he turns back. ]

I - I'd rather not go in there by myself, Doc. But maybe - maybe if you took a look, anyway--