reverielogs | (no subject)

» WHO? The Roci Crew and whoever else wants in on this mess
» WHEN? after the gravity is back
» WHERE? A few different places
» WHAT? A few different prompts as well as a catch-all for any roci crew or related logs for the month of june
» WARNINGS? these are all just terrible people what do you want from me

001: Alex, Bobbie and Amos are Judging You

The Martians and the Earther are sitting at a table in the Mess Hall, and they've started a game. That game? To rate everyone else on the ship in order of attractiveness. Want to be rated? Find the comment header below, drop a picture in of your character, and watch the comments fly. Feel free to overhear them and give them hell.

002: Closed, Alex >> Frank

Going on the morning walk-about to search for Holden was ritual, at this point, and Alex was very used to Frank coming over first thing before they headed out. So the door was already open, waiting for him. Alex was fishing through his drawers, trying to find where he'd stashed that singular glove that he'd found, to show him for a laugh. But instead his fingers found something else - a thin sheet of plastic, creased and bent a hundred thousand times, and Alex's heart nearly stopped.

He pulled it out of the drawer like it was made of plutonium, careful not to touch the edges of the drawer with it.

Christ. Oh, Christ.

003: Open, Alex >> Anyone who wants to find this wrecked man.

He goes straight to the bar.

It's not that he isn't a fairly regular fixture there, anyway, but especially right now, all he really wants is to drink until he numbs everything. So hi, have a depressed Martian with a bottle of who knows what, sitting at the bar and just staring at a picture of a woman and a child smiling lovingly at the camera. He keeps stroking his thumb over it, then looking wrecked and saying something like 'god damn it' under his breath before he pours himself another drink. One of his arms is still wrapped up in a sling against his chest.

If he recognizes you, he might look up when you get close, and sigh. "Hey, partner. Everythin' alright?" Because it's a lot easier to worry about other people, than to keep being miserable about yourself.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Depends.

[ Amos can tell that the conversation is uncomfortable for Alex. But he just barrels on, no feelings in his voice. ]

If you're dead, then no. It doesn't matter. We move on, there is nothing to do. If you're still alive and sick, then yes, it matters. We'd get you better.

Right.

[ Uncomfortable is putting it mildly.

He knows, now, that something is definitely wrong, and yet part of him can't help but believe it. Believe that Amos would just move on, without a second thought, if he died. Not because it was true and not because he wanted to believe it - but because his self esteem had never been strong, and it echoed things he'd thought about himself before. Better off a dead hero.

He felt a little queasy. ]

Well, I'm not sick. [ Ignoring the rest, for now. He can't really deal with it. ] But I think you might still have somethin' weird goin' on.

[ Amos sighs. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. He doesn't care to talk about it, though. ]

What if nothing's wrong with me? I'm feeling clearer than I have in days. [ He taps at his temple. ] It's quiet. Calm. Empty. No more jumble.

That's kind of what I'm worried about, hoss. [ His voice was careful. ]

I know you ain't the most - uh - emotionally in touch person in the world, and I know I don't always understand it.

But I'm pretty sure you ain't ever been - empty.

Might be for the best. That way, I can make totally unbiased decisions. Not have to follow someone else's morals. It sounds good, to me.

[ Having no feelings is a lot easier to work with than having too many. ]

Why do you think it's a bad thing?

Because we need emotions to help us figure out what's the right decision, Amos.

Otherwise you just end up like - like Cortazar. Or Dresden.

What's so wrong about being like Cortazar? He has a goal, and he's doing anything he can to get to that goal. If anything, it's noble.

... How do you think Naomi would feel, if she heard you callin' what he's doin' noble?

What if this place is another Eros? And everythin' that's happenin' to us is an experiment run by another person like him?

You think that's noble?

Cortazar's trying to understand. Understanding the protomolecule means being able to control it. Controlling it means - it could mean anything. Maybe it explains why we're here, right now. How did the protomolecule end up on Phoebe, huh? It was sent there, in some way. Maybe we were sent here, too.

[ Amos has no passion in his words, no inflation, no nothing. ]

The fate of a handful of people doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

[ Alex's chest was starting to feel really tight, a slowly rising wave of worry and panic growing in him. Amos had always been on the less emotional side of things, but he'd usually always at least think of how Naomi would feel about things. And he usually cared about how she felt about things.

He swallowed, then looked away, the desire to flee the situation very strong, but not quite strong enough to overcome just how devoted he was to Amos - to the rest of his family. He couldn't leave him alone, like this. Even if it was almost physically painful, to listen to it. ]

Not to the universe, maybe. [ Careful. Quiet. ] But it sure as hell means a lot to me. And I know it means a lot to Naomi.

It don't need to be about the universal picture, because that ain't really the picture we're part of. You know that I - I'd have real trouble, sacrificin' any one of you, for the 'greater good'. Even if it meant we understood that protoshit. I wouldn't be able to sacrifice my family for that. It just ain't worth it.